Taking Sides

I was walking into the county building today when a lovely young lady asked me if she could sign me up to vote republican.  I kindly informed her that I was an independent, which she politely thanked me for my time and that was it.

Pretty much an unremarkable event in my life today.  But if I put it into perspective with the State of the Union address, then things change.  Now, as far as politics go, I do lean to the conservative side.  No doubt about that.

But why should I have to choose?  What is so beneficial from picking one side of the same coin?  Or the lesser of two evils, depending on which way you like better?  I shouldn't have to pick, and that's what pisses me off. 

I hate getting force fed garbage from both sides because that's what they think I want to hear.  I can think for myself, thank you.  And I sure as hell don't need your talking heads spoon feeding me information to get me riled up because I'm the voting base that will get someone re-elected.

Just mention that your might take something away, or give someone something, and people lose their damn mind.  Somehow we all turn into chicken little and start running around screaming at the sky.  It's especially bad when the news cycle is 24 hours a day.  (Lets not get into the fact that news outlets are for profit corporations that depend on ratings, not the truth.)

So what do I want.  Simple, I want to be able to elect someone who is willing to do the right thing.  Someone who is going to read the research, from reputable sources, and make decisions based on that.  Propose policies based on data that has been produced in a non partisan way.  Someone who can stand in front of me, have a conversation, and tell me I'm right or wrong, and clearly and coherently tell me why.

I want someone who can think.  Someone who's willing to change their views on a subject matter when the facts prove them wrong.  Someone who is willing to stand up in front of people and articulate why that change has happened.  Someone with a backbone, who isn't afraid to not get re-elected if comes down to it.

I'm fully aware that, right now, this is just a naive way of looking at our democracy.  I know that there is way to much money and power involved for me to make a difference.  But guess what, I'm still going to vote in the next election.  I'm going to read up on the candidates and I'm going to try to pick the best one.  Regardless of what party they are affiliated with.

And if we all did that together, then maybe, just maybe we could get things to change. 

Feeling good

I don't know if I mentioned that I cleaned up my diet and started trying to get a little more exercise in a previous post, but I started about 9 months ago.  All I did was change my diet, stopped eating junk food and sugar, and tried to get a little exercise in. 

I decided to do it when I had to get weighed for a physical.  I hadn't had one in a while, nor had I looked at my weight.  Now I knew that I was packing around some extra pounds, I could see it and feel it.  What I didn't know was that I was roughly the size of an NFL linebacker, without the bulging muscles. 

So I started with little things.  Don't eat out, and if you do don't eat fast food.  It wasn't as easy as I'm making it sound.  But I made myself get into a habit, and I started feeling a lot better.

During the whole thing I realized something important about myself.  That I should pay attention to how I feel, and nothing else.  During this whole time I avoided scales.  I relied solely on how I looked in the mirror and how I felt.  It's amazing what your body tells you once you get your diet cleaned up.  So, for 9 months I haven't even thought about a scale.

Until tonight.

The in-laws were weighing bags for a medical mission trip to Haiti.  I decided that now was the time.  I've been feeling pretty well for a while and people have been telling me I look better.  Which is true, I am definitely not as puffy anymore.  So I jumped on the scale.  I was down 23 pounds.

Not that it's that impressive.  People lose hundreds of pounds.  And to be hones I was a little disappointed.  I thought I was down more than that.  Then I remember....I only weigh 7 pounds more now than I did in High School.  Not to bad for 45 years old. 

I never set a weight goal for myself.  I didn't want to fall into the trap of reaching that goal and then falling back into old, bad, habits.  Especially when the first goal I set is what I need to keep.  Just work on being healthy.

So there it is...the secret.  After 45 years I learned to listen to what my body was telling me.  I have to wonder if we'd all be happier if we picked up that little bit of knowledge a lot earlier in life.

Higher Standard

I was thinking about the whole president and "Shithole" comment.  It seems like old new with everything else going on, but that seems to have stuck with me.  It's been difficult for me to be angry and offended by that.  Just last week I referred to a town I worked around as a "Shithole".  And that's inside the U.S.  What's funny is that I've traveled and worked quite a bit outside of the U.S. and I don't really recall every saying one of the places I stayed was a shithole.  Even though they were way worse than anywhere I've been in the U.S.  But I digress. 

Anyway, my train of thought has been coming around to "Why would I hold someone to a higher standard than I hold myself...."  Like I said, just last week I used the same exact language.  So it seems pretty hipocritical of me to say I'm really offended by the presidents remarks.

In comes my wife with the knowledge beatdown. 

So we are sitting at dinner talking about it, and I'm explaining what I'm thinking on the whole deal.  She looks at me and says simply "He doesn't represent you......He represents all of us."  Boom.

I couldn't argue with her logic.  The president represents all of us.  Whether you voted for him or not, whether you like him or despise him, it doesn't matter.  He is the president of our(emphasis on the OUR) country and he is what the rest of the world sees and hears.  

So, I should hold him to a higher standard.  I should expect him to represent myself, and everyone else, with every ounce of dignity and respect we have as a society.  We are all different, and we all value different things.  But I think we can agree on the fact that we're not assholes, not all of the time anyway.  And saying a country is a shithole isn't a very dignified way of describing a place that is home to somebody.  Especially when it's someplace he has never been.

So where does that leave me?  Do I just roll on through life being a hipocrite?  I hope not.  I hope I'm old enough, and humble enough, to realize that what I've been doing doesn't represent me as a person very well. If I expect that kind of behavior from people who do represent me then I guess I should expect if from myself.

Rose Colored Glasses

A friend of mine messaged me tonight and said she had read my blog on failure.  She said it go her thinking about thing in her own life.  The fact that she read it and sent me a message is just amazing.  It's really something special to have someone chat you up about something you wrote.

Anyway, back to the point.  I re-read that blog post and then read how she looked at it.  Her mind went in a different direction than what I had in my mind when I wrote it.  But, the second I looked at how she was interpreting it, the whole thing made perfect sense.  I completely understood where she was coming from.

Of course this got me thinking again.  But this time I started thinking about how every single one of us can look at something and come to an endless number of conclusions about it.  We've all put on a filter to see the world through.  I think we have to as humans, in order to keep our sanity.  It all has to be processed in some way that will make sense to us.

I don't know about the rest of you, but my life experiences are what I end up using for a filter.  Right or wrong, it's the way things are for me.  And I think it's that way for a lot of people.  The really crappy part is that you can't change an experience.  You can move past it, but you can't pretend it never happened. 

Is it ok  for me to judge things based on past experience?  Maybe, maybe not.  Do I do it anyway?  You bet I do.  And I think most of you do was well.  It's almost impossible not to.

So how do I go about changing my filter?  I don't know.  Exposure?  That would mean that I would need to be exposed to something similar to that situation in the past.  Which would mean I would need to seek out a similar situation now.  That doesn't make a bit of sense.

I don't know.  I think some of these things that tilt my views have, and will change with time.  I think I can be a little more conscious of when I'm letting those experiences effect me.

My brain is the one doing it of course.  The question is do I control my brain, or does my experiences?  I guess I'll put some effort into that and find out.

Friends

I made it through another week, and I think it was a good one.  I kept my resolutions about getting up, reading, and watching T.V.  I also learned a new dance step, which with my two left feet is a good day on any week.  I finally finished, and test the water delivery system I custom built for the 1955 travel trailer.  That alone was really exciting.

I had to make a call or two this weekend to a buddy of mine on plumbing questions.  I needed to pick his brain on a few questions I had.  I wanted to make sure I was doing things the right way.  Even though he was out of town, he picked the phone up and talked to me about it.  This is the same man who totally hooked me up with how to put the pecs pipe together.  Loaned me the tools and gave me a bunch of fittings to put it together. 

Another buddy of mine stopped by this weekend.  He mentored me through the installation of the black iron for the propane system.  He did the same thing as my plummer friend.  When I had a question, he answered the phone.  He took me down to the parts store and showed me what I was going to need.  He even pointed me in the right direction to determine what size of pipe I should install.  Oh, and he hooked me up with some gear he had stored as well.

The point here is, I have really good friends.  I have, and have had, a lot of friends throughout my life.  Some were really good friends, and some were more along the lines of acquaintances who were traveling in the same direction as me at that time.  It's funn, I see some of those people and we stop and have a quick conversation.  How are they doing, how's the family, etc.  Standard stuff.  That's how I know.  Nothing against them at all.  I love seeing them, and I'll be happy to see them the next time I run into them.

But I have really good friends.  You know, the kind where you can not see each other for a while, and pick right up where you left off.  Those people that you've shared something with.  They are far beyond acquaintances, more like family.  It's hard for me to explain, but if you have friends like this I don't really have to.  When I'm with these people I don't worry about what I might look or sound like.  I can just be.  It's liberating, relaxing and joyful, I don't know of any other way to say it.

I hope everyone has at least a few friends in their life like this.  If you don't, go find a few.  And to my friends, near and far.....I miss all of you and hope to see you soon. 

And to Dubs, Preston, and Boyd thanks for all your time, knowledge, and help.  Hopefully someday I can return the favor.  You can always count on me when you need me.

Learning Curve

I was reading tonight, keeping my news years resolution, and came across a few lines about failure.  Interestingly enough, my wife was reading something similar at the same time.  Which of course got me thinking about failure and how it has affected me.

Now I have had some pretty epic failures in my life and I don't think I'm alone.  If  you ever meet anyone who says they've never failed, don't trust them.  They are either lying or they have an ego that won't let them admit to it.  I guess someone who hasn't done very much in life could say that they have never failed.  Either way, they probably aren't someone you want to ask for life advice from.

I did a quick mental check on my failures in life.  I didn't dwell on them, but I asked myself what the common theme was.  Was it something in my personality?  Did a serious fault in who I think I am cause them?  I came to the conclusion that it was just be being young and dumb, or just dumb, most of the time.  I took a lot of chances when I was younger and got my butt kicked by Karma a time or two.

Looking back on it I finally figured out something very important.  I am my mistakes.  No, I don't mean that I am a mistake and I keep making mistakes. 

I am the culmination of all the lessons I learned from making mistakes.  The mistakes turned into life long lessons.  Lessons I continuously return to, and evaluate, as I make decisions about my life now. 

I've been successful in the past, and I think I'm successful now.  But success never taught me truths in life like failure has.  Life is easy when your successful, things just seem to flow.  I never really looked introspectively at myself when I was being successful though.  It was enjoyable to just be in the moment.

On the other hand, failure was hard.  Failure made me look at myself and be really, really honest about who I was.  What I believed in.  How I perceived myself.  Failure made me question why I did, or didn't do, things that could have changed my outcome.  Failure was, and is, a great teacher.  It is a hard and unforgiving way to accumulate wisdom.

It takes a while to get past the pain, and shame, of a really good screw up.  I don't really like having my flaws exposed.  I don't like having to call myself out on my own bullshit.  But I've come to realize that this is the way you grow.  This is the way you get better. 

There is no greater critic than yourself and no greater teacher than experience.  Life is only going to last so long, you might as well learn from it.

The Birthday

Another birthday, come and gone.  I'm 45 now.  It is strange to think about that number while I still have vivid mermories of my childhood.  I guess I am fortunate I haven't suffered a midlife crisis.

Now that I've hit the half way mark ( at least ) I'm starting to wonder what's next for me personally.  I still have two kids to raise and bill to pay.  Nothing has changed in that realm of life.  But time is running a little short for me if I really want to start something new.

Don't misunderstand me, I have a pretty good life that I'm grateful for.  Great wife, great kids (most of the time ), good job.  We're not struggling to pay the bills.  But what's next?  I don't know that I've hit the pinnacle in my professional life, but I can say with certainty that there is not a lot left for me to be exposed to in my job.  I had the good fortune to have worked on a multitude of different projects, and in doing so learned enough skills to feel comfortable being able to figure out pretty much anything.

I guess the question I've been asking myself is "Is my job really what I want to be doing?".  Given the option of not worrying about money, I wouldn't be doing my job.  Or I would be doing a very small sector of my job that I still find fun and challenging.  So I guess that answers that question, doesn't it.

The hard question I can't answer right now, is what would I do if I could just wake up tomorrow and pick something new.  I don't have an answer for that .  I've been doing the same thing for so long that it's hard for my head to get out of its own way, and look for that spark.  First world problems, I know.

I have been trying a few new things.  I am rebuilding a 45 foot travel trailer from the 1950s.  That's been a challenge of epic proportions.  I have learned a lot of new skills, and developed a substantial amount of patience throughout this endeavor.  And if I'm being honest, I have really enjoyed it.  But is this something I want to continue to pursue as a hobby?  Or as a secondary income source?  I don't know.  And that answer is maddening.

At 45 I'm still searching for new things that excite me.  The fact that I can still do that is a blessing. 

It's a small world

I was just checking out the options on blogger and they are pretty cool.  I noticed you can see where people are reading your blog from.  Which I found crazy.

The world is shrinking every day, and there is no way for us to put that genie back in the bottle.  I just got off the phone with a friend of mine that's 1500 miles away.  Google told me that I have people reading this blog in Germany, France, Mexico,Puerto Rico and the Ukraine.  That's Crazy.  And to all of you that are outside the US, thanks for reading.  And hit me up anytime in the comments.

Anyway, where was I going with this.  Oh yeah, the world is changing, for the better and for the worse, and I don't see any way that it is going to stop this march forward.  (Barring some sore of catastrophic event of course.)  I know a whole lot of people who say that they want things to go back to the way they were, and another bunch that say we're not going forward fast enough.

Creates a bit of a conundrum for ourselves and society.  Kind of a push and pull that keeps things in balance, while moving forward.  Unfortunately a lot of people, at least here in the US, see it as an us versus them kind of fight, which does nothing but cause a lot of resentment for our fellow man.  I don't really see it that way though, not as an us versus them at least.  I look it the fact that we have been advancing as a species for a long time.  We did hit a few snags along the way, but all in all our timeline as a species shows a steady advance.  Towards what, I still have no idea.  But you can't deny that humans have never sat back for long and done nothing.

Hunting and gathering, agriculture, sending people to the moon.  You see the trend.  What course we take is still up to us.  The sad part is that we can't agree on a direction together.  Imagine what we could get done if we did.

Resolutions

I've been checking out everyones new years resolutions on social media.  It's kind of fun.  Mostly because it's the exact same crap as we all posted last year.  Yep, I'm just as guilty as the rest of humanity on this one.  It seems like I had a grand plan(not that I remember what that was right now) for the 2017 year.

This year is going to be different though.  I've got a different plan on for getting through this one.  This year I'm not going to set some lofty goal.  Like get in shape, lose weight, or read more.  Nope.  My new years resolution is simple.  Be better than I was.

Let me explain.  I figured out that it is really easy to fall off of whatever wagon you are on at the moment.  Once you do, it seems really hard to get back on it.  Our brains don't like having to do stuff that makes us uncomfortable.  So my plan is not to set one big goal, but to set a whole lot of little goals throughout the year.

My first goal of the year was simple.  No more hitting the snooze button or crawling back into bed.  Pretty simple goal right?  I was getting up and going early for about a year, then I fell of that wagon.  Well, making a resolution to get up when my alarm goes off is pretty simple right.  It might seem like it's insignificant, but here I sit at 5:45 in the morning, writing this blog, after I showered and made breakfast.  That little change has given me more time to get things done in the morning, and to be honest, it's been a really easy goal to keep. 

My second goal for the year was also simple one.  Watch less TV.  So now I allow myself one hour of TV a night.  Once again, a pretty simple change.  But even in just the last few days I've noticed a difference.  I talk with my kids and wife more.  It seems like I fall asleep quicker, and sleep better.  I'm more present mentally when I'm at home.  All in all, this one has been a really good choice to make.

My third goal is to read more.  Sometimes I'm busy in the evenings, or have to work early in the mornings, but on days when I have time I've set a goal to read for 1 hour.  That's it, pick a good book and read it for an hour.  Right now I'm going through Tools of Titans by Tim Ferris.  It feels like I'm chewing my way through that book more than reading it.  Pick it up and you'll know what I'm talking about.

Anyway, these are the three small things I'm choosing to work on first.  Small steps.  Once these are habit, I'll move on to the next small thing I want to get into the habit of doing. 

If you every get a chance, read or listen to a guy named Jocko.  He says change is a campaign, not a resolution.  Little changes in habits are easy to make as long as your mindful of what your doing, and they are easy to keep.  So here's to a year of little changes.  I hope it leads to a better me in the coming year.

Till the next one.

To the New Year

Well, here we are again.  Another year has come and gone.  Some of us are likely glad it's over and some of us are probably thinking it was a pretty good year.  It all depends on your perspective I suppose.

It has been a pretty wild ride this year though.  Depending on which news you read  the sky was either falling, or we were heading straight back to the glory days.  I tend to think it was more in the middle than either of those extremes, but you decide for yourself.

One thing is for certain, in spite of all the negative news, people still did amazing things.  Kids in need were adopted,  people showed up to help each other after natural disasters, and uncountable other great deeds were done this year by good old human beings.  Don't get me wrong, I am well aware of all the shitty stuff that happened.  I am just going to choose to not focus on that.  I'm focusing on all the good, mainly because I feel a lot better when I do.

So here is to the new year.  I wish for you and yours to have hope.  Hope for all of us.  Hope that those amazing humans that selflessly help others, and make this planet a better place, continue to do so.  Hope that their spirit, dignity, and humility is infectious and that all of us catch a little bit of it.

Here is to happiness.  Find the things that bring joy to your life.  Chase down those dreams until you have captured them and made them a reality.  Or, dig yourself out of the rut you are in and give yourself enough space to actually have a dream or two.  Let go of the past that is weighing you down, you can't change it.  Resolve yourself to be just a little happier, and see where that takes you.

And finally, here is to prosperity.  However you define it.  Be grateful for what you have and be open to what may come your way.  And, if by chance, you end of with a little extra, don't be afraid to be an amazing human being.  You can always help someone with a little bit of hope.

Until the next one.