Friends

I made it through another week, and I think it was a good one.  I kept my resolutions about getting up, reading, and watching T.V.  I also learned a new dance step, which with my two left feet is a good day on any week.  I finally finished, and test the water delivery system I custom built for the 1955 travel trailer.  That alone was really exciting.

I had to make a call or two this weekend to a buddy of mine on plumbing questions.  I needed to pick his brain on a few questions I had.  I wanted to make sure I was doing things the right way.  Even though he was out of town, he picked the phone up and talked to me about it.  This is the same man who totally hooked me up with how to put the pecs pipe together.  Loaned me the tools and gave me a bunch of fittings to put it together. 

Another buddy of mine stopped by this weekend.  He mentored me through the installation of the black iron for the propane system.  He did the same thing as my plummer friend.  When I had a question, he answered the phone.  He took me down to the parts store and showed me what I was going to need.  He even pointed me in the right direction to determine what size of pipe I should install.  Oh, and he hooked me up with some gear he had stored as well.

The point here is, I have really good friends.  I have, and have had, a lot of friends throughout my life.  Some were really good friends, and some were more along the lines of acquaintances who were traveling in the same direction as me at that time.  It's funn, I see some of those people and we stop and have a quick conversation.  How are they doing, how's the family, etc.  Standard stuff.  That's how I know.  Nothing against them at all.  I love seeing them, and I'll be happy to see them the next time I run into them.

But I have really good friends.  You know, the kind where you can not see each other for a while, and pick right up where you left off.  Those people that you've shared something with.  They are far beyond acquaintances, more like family.  It's hard for me to explain, but if you have friends like this I don't really have to.  When I'm with these people I don't worry about what I might look or sound like.  I can just be.  It's liberating, relaxing and joyful, I don't know of any other way to say it.

I hope everyone has at least a few friends in their life like this.  If you don't, go find a few.  And to my friends, near and far.....I miss all of you and hope to see you soon. 

And to Dubs, Preston, and Boyd thanks for all your time, knowledge, and help.  Hopefully someday I can return the favor.  You can always count on me when you need me.

Learning Curve

I was reading tonight, keeping my news years resolution, and came across a few lines about failure.  Interestingly enough, my wife was reading something similar at the same time.  Which of course got me thinking about failure and how it has affected me.

Now I have had some pretty epic failures in my life and I don't think I'm alone.  If  you ever meet anyone who says they've never failed, don't trust them.  They are either lying or they have an ego that won't let them admit to it.  I guess someone who hasn't done very much in life could say that they have never failed.  Either way, they probably aren't someone you want to ask for life advice from.

I did a quick mental check on my failures in life.  I didn't dwell on them, but I asked myself what the common theme was.  Was it something in my personality?  Did a serious fault in who I think I am cause them?  I came to the conclusion that it was just be being young and dumb, or just dumb, most of the time.  I took a lot of chances when I was younger and got my butt kicked by Karma a time or two.

Looking back on it I finally figured out something very important.  I am my mistakes.  No, I don't mean that I am a mistake and I keep making mistakes. 

I am the culmination of all the lessons I learned from making mistakes.  The mistakes turned into life long lessons.  Lessons I continuously return to, and evaluate, as I make decisions about my life now. 

I've been successful in the past, and I think I'm successful now.  But success never taught me truths in life like failure has.  Life is easy when your successful, things just seem to flow.  I never really looked introspectively at myself when I was being successful though.  It was enjoyable to just be in the moment.

On the other hand, failure was hard.  Failure made me look at myself and be really, really honest about who I was.  What I believed in.  How I perceived myself.  Failure made me question why I did, or didn't do, things that could have changed my outcome.  Failure was, and is, a great teacher.  It is a hard and unforgiving way to accumulate wisdom.

It takes a while to get past the pain, and shame, of a really good screw up.  I don't really like having my flaws exposed.  I don't like having to call myself out on my own bullshit.  But I've come to realize that this is the way you grow.  This is the way you get better. 

There is no greater critic than yourself and no greater teacher than experience.  Life is only going to last so long, you might as well learn from it.

The Birthday

Another birthday, come and gone.  I'm 45 now.  It is strange to think about that number while I still have vivid mermories of my childhood.  I guess I am fortunate I haven't suffered a midlife crisis.

Now that I've hit the half way mark ( at least ) I'm starting to wonder what's next for me personally.  I still have two kids to raise and bill to pay.  Nothing has changed in that realm of life.  But time is running a little short for me if I really want to start something new.

Don't misunderstand me, I have a pretty good life that I'm grateful for.  Great wife, great kids (most of the time ), good job.  We're not struggling to pay the bills.  But what's next?  I don't know that I've hit the pinnacle in my professional life, but I can say with certainty that there is not a lot left for me to be exposed to in my job.  I had the good fortune to have worked on a multitude of different projects, and in doing so learned enough skills to feel comfortable being able to figure out pretty much anything.

I guess the question I've been asking myself is "Is my job really what I want to be doing?".  Given the option of not worrying about money, I wouldn't be doing my job.  Or I would be doing a very small sector of my job that I still find fun and challenging.  So I guess that answers that question, doesn't it.

The hard question I can't answer right now, is what would I do if I could just wake up tomorrow and pick something new.  I don't have an answer for that .  I've been doing the same thing for so long that it's hard for my head to get out of its own way, and look for that spark.  First world problems, I know.

I have been trying a few new things.  I am rebuilding a 45 foot travel trailer from the 1950s.  That's been a challenge of epic proportions.  I have learned a lot of new skills, and developed a substantial amount of patience throughout this endeavor.  And if I'm being honest, I have really enjoyed it.  But is this something I want to continue to pursue as a hobby?  Or as a secondary income source?  I don't know.  And that answer is maddening.

At 45 I'm still searching for new things that excite me.  The fact that I can still do that is a blessing. 

It's a small world

I was just checking out the options on blogger and they are pretty cool.  I noticed you can see where people are reading your blog from.  Which I found crazy.

The world is shrinking every day, and there is no way for us to put that genie back in the bottle.  I just got off the phone with a friend of mine that's 1500 miles away.  Google told me that I have people reading this blog in Germany, France, Mexico,Puerto Rico and the Ukraine.  That's Crazy.  And to all of you that are outside the US, thanks for reading.  And hit me up anytime in the comments.

Anyway, where was I going with this.  Oh yeah, the world is changing, for the better and for the worse, and I don't see any way that it is going to stop this march forward.  (Barring some sore of catastrophic event of course.)  I know a whole lot of people who say that they want things to go back to the way they were, and another bunch that say we're not going forward fast enough.

Creates a bit of a conundrum for ourselves and society.  Kind of a push and pull that keeps things in balance, while moving forward.  Unfortunately a lot of people, at least here in the US, see it as an us versus them kind of fight, which does nothing but cause a lot of resentment for our fellow man.  I don't really see it that way though, not as an us versus them at least.  I look it the fact that we have been advancing as a species for a long time.  We did hit a few snags along the way, but all in all our timeline as a species shows a steady advance.  Towards what, I still have no idea.  But you can't deny that humans have never sat back for long and done nothing.

Hunting and gathering, agriculture, sending people to the moon.  You see the trend.  What course we take is still up to us.  The sad part is that we can't agree on a direction together.  Imagine what we could get done if we did.

Resolutions

I've been checking out everyones new years resolutions on social media.  It's kind of fun.  Mostly because it's the exact same crap as we all posted last year.  Yep, I'm just as guilty as the rest of humanity on this one.  It seems like I had a grand plan(not that I remember what that was right now) for the 2017 year.

This year is going to be different though.  I've got a different plan on for getting through this one.  This year I'm not going to set some lofty goal.  Like get in shape, lose weight, or read more.  Nope.  My new years resolution is simple.  Be better than I was.

Let me explain.  I figured out that it is really easy to fall off of whatever wagon you are on at the moment.  Once you do, it seems really hard to get back on it.  Our brains don't like having to do stuff that makes us uncomfortable.  So my plan is not to set one big goal, but to set a whole lot of little goals throughout the year.

My first goal of the year was simple.  No more hitting the snooze button or crawling back into bed.  Pretty simple goal right?  I was getting up and going early for about a year, then I fell of that wagon.  Well, making a resolution to get up when my alarm goes off is pretty simple right.  It might seem like it's insignificant, but here I sit at 5:45 in the morning, writing this blog, after I showered and made breakfast.  That little change has given me more time to get things done in the morning, and to be honest, it's been a really easy goal to keep. 

My second goal for the year was also simple one.  Watch less TV.  So now I allow myself one hour of TV a night.  Once again, a pretty simple change.  But even in just the last few days I've noticed a difference.  I talk with my kids and wife more.  It seems like I fall asleep quicker, and sleep better.  I'm more present mentally when I'm at home.  All in all, this one has been a really good choice to make.

My third goal is to read more.  Sometimes I'm busy in the evenings, or have to work early in the mornings, but on days when I have time I've set a goal to read for 1 hour.  That's it, pick a good book and read it for an hour.  Right now I'm going through Tools of Titans by Tim Ferris.  It feels like I'm chewing my way through that book more than reading it.  Pick it up and you'll know what I'm talking about.

Anyway, these are the three small things I'm choosing to work on first.  Small steps.  Once these are habit, I'll move on to the next small thing I want to get into the habit of doing. 

If you every get a chance, read or listen to a guy named Jocko.  He says change is a campaign, not a resolution.  Little changes in habits are easy to make as long as your mindful of what your doing, and they are easy to keep.  So here's to a year of little changes.  I hope it leads to a better me in the coming year.

Till the next one.

To the New Year

Well, here we are again.  Another year has come and gone.  Some of us are likely glad it's over and some of us are probably thinking it was a pretty good year.  It all depends on your perspective I suppose.

It has been a pretty wild ride this year though.  Depending on which news you read  the sky was either falling, or we were heading straight back to the glory days.  I tend to think it was more in the middle than either of those extremes, but you decide for yourself.

One thing is for certain, in spite of all the negative news, people still did amazing things.  Kids in need were adopted,  people showed up to help each other after natural disasters, and uncountable other great deeds were done this year by good old human beings.  Don't get me wrong, I am well aware of all the shitty stuff that happened.  I am just going to choose to not focus on that.  I'm focusing on all the good, mainly because I feel a lot better when I do.

So here is to the new year.  I wish for you and yours to have hope.  Hope for all of us.  Hope that those amazing humans that selflessly help others, and make this planet a better place, continue to do so.  Hope that their spirit, dignity, and humility is infectious and that all of us catch a little bit of it.

Here is to happiness.  Find the things that bring joy to your life.  Chase down those dreams until you have captured them and made them a reality.  Or, dig yourself out of the rut you are in and give yourself enough space to actually have a dream or two.  Let go of the past that is weighing you down, you can't change it.  Resolve yourself to be just a little happier, and see where that takes you.

And finally, here is to prosperity.  However you define it.  Be grateful for what you have and be open to what may come your way.  And, if by chance, you end of with a little extra, don't be afraid to be an amazing human being.  You can always help someone with a little bit of hope.

Until the next one.

Stories from my past Vol. 1

So I spent a lot of time working for my parents when I was a kid.  We traveled out of town a lot in the summers, and I spent a lot of time with guys that were older than I was.  It was a good time, and we did stupid things.  I've decided to tell some of these stories because they are hilarious.  You may not believe me, but this stuff actually happened.  I have changed all of the names in these stories to protect the identities of the people involved.

A little background on this story.  We were working outside of Kingman, Arizona in the middle of summer.  To say it was hot would be the worst understatement in the history of mankind.  We went to work at 4 A.M. to try to stay out of the heat, and it was 95 degrees when we walked out the door.

Our two main characters in this story, we'll call them Doug and Murphy, were working out in that sweltering heat all day.  Murphy was a tall red headed guy in his mid twenties, who was freakishly strong.  He never played any sports to my knowledge, but he was one of those naturally gifted athletes.  Doug, on the other hand, was the stud athlete on the football team.  He was probably 17 at the time, and he wanted to be the alpha dog.  So of course the rest of us always poked at him a little bit, especially about Murphy and his athletic ability.

Doug couldn't take the fact that there was someone there that might just be a bigger badass than he was.  The rest of us constantly reinforced the fact that he may or may not be the best athlete on the job.  Murphy couldn't have cared less.

At some point, I'm not sure exactly when, Doug decided to start trying to push Murphy into some kind of physical contest.  You know, lift heavy things, run fast, etc....  Murphy wasn't interested and let Doug know that in no uncertain terms.  Doug, god bless him, wouldn't take the hint.  So the razzing by the rest of us only got worse.  I'm not going to lie, it was a lot of fun.  Kind of like poking a bear and waiting to see what happened.

Eventually it came to a head.  We were sitting on the tailgate of the truck having a drink out of the cooler when Murphy finally snapped.  We had just finished walking to the top of a decent sized hill and coming back down to the truck.  Doug had not stopping talking smack the entire way.  So Murphy challenged Doug to a foot race.  Starting at the truck and running to the top of the same hill we just climbed and back to the truck.

Oh you should have seen the joy on Dougs face.  He was finally going to prove he was the man.  I remember thinking that they were crazy.  It had to be 115 degrees at that time and we had just drank a whole bunch of liquids.  I mean, you talk about a recipe for disaster.  But by god it was happening, and I think by that point we were all glad it was finally going to be over.  The fun we had been having poking at Doug had turned into all of us being annoyed that he wouldn't let it go.

So the foot race was on.  Murphy laid out the short rule list.  First to the top of the hill won the race.  Now that it was on, Murphy started taking smack to Doug, which was weird considering that for weeks Murphy didn't want anything to do with it.  The more Murphy talked, the more Doug got wound up and the more his chest stuck out.

My job is to give the 3, 2, 1, Go to start the race.  Murphy and Doug lined up next to each other, Doug giving Murphy the stare down.  I count down and yell go.

Doug takes off at a dead sprint, as fast as he can run through the brush and cactus.  Murphy took one fast step forward.....turned around, walked back to the truck, and sat down on the tailgate.  Where all of us promptly started laughing our asses off.  Unfortunately for Doug, he never looked back to see what was going on.  Even when he threw up half way up the hill.  When he got to the top, he turned around and realized what had happened.  I thought I could see his dismayed, pissed off face, but he was a long way away.  I can tell you that I could hear him cursing up there, in between the dry heaves he had.

I never knew what a walk of shame looked like until that moment.

When he got back to the truck, Doug was still Doug.  He was still going to try to be the Alpha dog.  But he was going to let Murphy be in his own pack.