Age

Growing old is a bitch.

I've now lived long enough to see  my friends have kids that are becoming adults.  I have watched them make the same mistakes that we made, and now I get to see them punished for it.

We got away with it.  No one got hurt. 

But sometimes things don't work out.  Sometimes people get hurt, or die.  One poor choice and that is the end of a young, promising life.  Someone will pay for that choice, in the justice system and for the rest of their lives.  I don't know what to think now.  I'm as confused as everyone else.

At least two lives are gone in an instant, with the very possibility of more.  My heart goes out to my friends but that seems hollow, empty.  The struggles they face are just beginning.  The only end that I can see is more sorrow.  More pain and suffering.  Less healing and more open wounds.

My kids are getting close to this age.  Now I'm scared.  How to I talk to them about the terrible choice that was made that night.  How to I make them understand that the hands of time only spin one direction.  The choices they make have consequences and they are not immortal.

I don't know the answer to that, I'm not sure anyone does.  The best thing I can do is to make sure that this tragedy is brought front and center into the minds of my kids.  They have to understand that it's easy to make bad choices in the heat of the moment.  Choices that can define the rest of their lives.

My heart goes out to my friends, and their kids.  All of them are responsible, but one has already paid the ultimate price.  There will be more punishment to come, and that will last a lifetime to those that survived.

Aspirations

I had the opportunity to spend a small amount of time with some truly great people.  It was just a few days but it was one of those events that make you reflect on what you have done in your life and who you are. I had the pleasure of meeting a 4 star general, a colonel, two majors, a sergeant, and an FBI special agent.

I have met a lot of great people in the course of my life.  Those people have made me think, wonder, and change.  People who have helped shape my beliefs and have made me better.  These individuals, to say the least, are up at the top of that list of people.

They were incredibly humble and good natured.  More importantly they were incredibly human.

I guess I didn't really know what I was expecting when I learned that I was going to get to spend some time with them.  People like that seem somewhat apposed to what I've done with my life.  They are driven and somehow completely selfless.  The greater mission that they are a part of drives them, not personal gain or glory.

I guess I expected them to be superhuman.  And in a way I guess they are, just now how I thought. 

It is refreshing at my age to have my expectations dashed, then exceeded.  All in on stroke. 

The more I think about it the more I realize that I have a lot of work to do.  That there are truly great people out there and that I should be seeking them out, emulating them.

I believe I'm a pretty decent person, but these people were great human beings.  The lesson I have learned is good is ok, but I should never stop striving to be great.

24 Hours

My day has been terrible.

My day sucked.

Worst day of my life.

I seem to hear that more and more these days.  Not that I'm arguing with them.  How would I know what kind of day they are having.  But it seems to be a prevalent thought with the people I know and work with. 

Oddly enough, no matter how much the day sucks, it's still only 24 hours long.  The day will end at some point, no matter how bad it has been.  A new day will start and your attitude will either start new with it, or the old one will carry over.  It's your choice really.

Now I know that there are truly some shitty days, weeks, months and even years.  Horrible stuff happens to people all the time.  But the people who get through those dark times seem to be the ones who are more optimistic that the light they see isn't a train.  They somehow keep their nose just above the water and keep working towards the shore.

Those people I have to admire.  They seem to have an innate ability to embrace the crappy mess they  are in, while realizing that it's only temporary.  They seem to understand that they only have control over their reaction to circumstance.  Not resignation per se, more of a deeper understanding of their own thoughts and the consequences that they bring.

Humans are funny creatures in my experience.  When we are relaxed and happy time seems to fly by.  When our lives have gone to hell each and every second seems like an eternity.  At some point, as I grow older, I wonder if that isn't some kind of biological programming to help us survive.  Budhists believe that living in the moment is the key to happiness. One would think they may have that right.  If only we could get our brains to swap the time flies happiness with the eternity sucking downside.  Maybe we can if we just focus on it.  I don't know.

What I do know is that there are 7 billion people on this planet.  At any time at least 1 billion are probably having a shitty day.  Some way shittier that I could ever imagine.  And I am grateful for not being one of them.